ExpertsFMHow to Get People to Say Yes | Ryan Serhant
The Knowledge Project · October 13, 2026
5 Selected Lessons:
framework · 2 heuristic · 1 case · 1 priority · 1
Micro vs macro success: legacy and responsibility over ambition
Source
The Knowledge Project — How to Get People to Say Yes | Ryan Serhant (October 13, 2026) · at 46:28 ▸ · at 51:33 ▸
When this applies
when a high-achiever needs to articulate why they keep pushing beyond what looks like 'enough'
The takeaway
Rank continued striving as a responsibility to the people whose outcomes depend on yours, above personal ambition or satisfaction, to sustain motivation without framing it as greed.
Why it works
Reframing relentless drive as 'responsibility to others who win when I win' rather than personal ambition changes the emotional and ethical framing of continued pushing, making it feel obligatory rather than purely self-serving.
One level up
Sustainable long-term drive is better anchored in obligation to others than in personal appetite alone.
Where it stops holding
This stops working when the stated responsibility framing becomes a rationalization masking personal dissatisfaction that genuinely harms close relationships, as the wife's comment in S15 suggests.
Detail
hierarchy:
- Macro success: happy legacy, benefiting family and employees
- Micro success: individual interactions like a good conversation
- Chip on shoulder / drive reframed as responsibility, not ambition
rationale: If you really saw how many other people win when I win, you'd understand it's not ambition, it's pure, brutal responsibility.
In their words
I think if like you really came and saw how many other people win when I win to the thousandths of percent, you understand that it's not ambition, it's not a chip, it is pure, brutal responsibility.
Sell the dream, not the product — the two C's and Codo closing method
Source
The Knowledge Project — How to Get People to Say Yes | Ryan Serhant (October 13, 2026) · at 14:23 ▸ · at 18:18 ▸
When this applies
when trying to persuade someone to buy anything they could feel pressured to resist
The takeaway
Lead with rapport and aspiration rather than product features; let the prospect feel they are choosing, not being sold.
Why it works
People resist being sold but enjoy shopping and being understood; building rapport via compliments and commonality disarms resistance, open questions let the buyer talk themselves into wanting it, and selling the aspirational experience (not the literal features) connects emotionally rather than transactionally.
One level up
The best persuasion removes the appearance of persuasion itself.
Where it stops holding
This stops working when the buyer explicitly wants a fast, transactional, feature-based interaction and views relationship-building as a waste of time.
Detail
procedure:
- Two C's: give a compliment to disarm, then find something in common
- Ask only questions people can't say no to, to let them talk about themselves
- Avoid discussing 'the sell' directly; talk about everything else
- Codo (close on day one): lay out clear next-step expectations immediately after rapport is built
- Sell the lifestyle/dream first, the literal product (the 'bed') second
rationale: Nothing is 'for sale' if the interaction feels like authentic shopping; people buy the dream, not the object.
In their words
A lot of people who are terrible at sales are trying to sell me the bed. And they try to sell me the bed that I can then go and have a dream in. And that is not how you do it. You sell the dream first, bed second.
The three F's: follow up, follow through, follow back
Source
The Knowledge Project — How to Get People to Say Yes | Ryan Serhant (October 13, 2026) · at 18:18 ▸ · at 20:20 ▸
When this applies
when pursuing any long-cycle relationship or sale where the other party is simply busy, not opposed
The takeaway
Maintain indefinite, no-ask, value-based contact with any prospect who hasn't said no, since the cost of continuing is near zero and the payoff is unbounded.
Why it works
Persistent, low-pressure, value-added contact (not asks) keeps you top-of-mind until the prospect's circumstances change enough to act, while never crossing into pestering because there's no explicit ask attached.
One level up
In relationships with asymmetric payoff (small cost to continue, large potential reward), persistence should default to 'forever' until explicitly told to stop.
Where it stops holding
This stops working when the prospect explicitly asks you to stop, or when persistent contact without consent tips into harassment rather than periodic value-add.
Detail
procedure:
- Follow up: contact periodically (e.g., biweekly) with no ask, just value (market notes, congratulations via Google Alerts)
- Follow through: always do what you say you will do
- Follow back: maintain contact with everyone who has worked with you
benchmarks: {"duration":"follow up forever until people 'buy, die, or say stop'","example":"5-year follow-up before first response, then $16M, $73M, $33M deals followed"}
rationale: Quitting is easy and free; trying is also free but harder — but persistence costs little and compounds dramatically when it eventually pays off.
In their words
You follow up forever until people buy, die, or they bought something and they don't want to work with you, which is totally fine.
Embrace embarrassment for income
Source
The Knowledge Project — How to Get People to Say Yes | Ryan Serhant (October 13, 2026) · at 0:00 ▸ · at 10:56 ▸
When this applies
when fear of social embarrassment, not fear of failure, is the real barrier to taking volume-based action
The takeaway
Treat tolerance for embarrassment as a prerequisite skill for any volume-based pursuit of opportunity, since the fear (not the failure) is what throttles activity.
Why it works
Willingness to risk embarrassment increases the volume and boldness of outreach attempts, and since sales/opportunity is probabilistic, more bold attempts produce more successful outcomes even though most attempts 'fail' socially.
One level up
Removing self-imposed social risk aversion is often the actual bottleneck to growth, more than skill or resources.
Where it stops holding
This stops working when the 'embarrassing' action is actually reputationally damaging in a lasting, material way rather than just socially awkward in the moment.
Detail
rule: Be okay with bad comments, failed attempts, and people talking poorly about you — that tolerance correlates with higher earnings.
threshold: Willingness to talk to 100 people to meet 5
rationale: Modern social-media-raised people fear embarrassment more than failure, which stops them from taking the volume of risks sales requires.
In their words
If you're willing to embarrass yourself, you make more money every time.
Closing the vanished buyer in Paris and the armored-Escalade finish
Source
The Knowledge Project — How to Get People to Say Yes | Ryan Serhant (October 13, 2026) · at 26:12 ▸
When this applies
when a long-dormant deal gets a sudden opening and persistence must be matched with flexibility/physical follow-through
The takeaway
Even when a deal looks dead or fraudulent, continued low-cost, low-pressure outreach can occasionally revive it because the human relationship, not just the transaction, is what gets rewarded.
Why it works
Serhant's continued follow-up (even assuming the deal was dead/fraudulent) created a personal connection strong enough that the buyer later said he responded out of sympathy for the persistence, showing that relentless low-cost outreach can convert even seemingly hopeless situations.
One level up
Persistence is cheap optionality; abandoning it forecloses outcomes you can't predict in advance.
Where it stops holding
This stops working when physical/financial risk of chasing the deal (e.g., traveling internationally to meet a stranger) outweighs the deal's expected value.
Detail
situation: Buyer vanished after wiring deposit; Serhant tracked him to Paris and flew to meet him unannounced.
decision: Took the risk of meeting a stranger abroad, tolerated bizarre behavior (forced tequila, no-show), and kept pushing the relationship forward.
outcome: The buyer eventually closed in cash; he explained he responded because Serhant's persistence made him feel for him ('I just felt bad for you').
lesson: Persistence, even toward an apparently lost cause, can be rewarded when it builds enough genuine goodwill.
In their words
He literally said, One night I was drunk and I was on the internet. And then you didn't leave me alone. And I just felt bad for you.